Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
