There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
whose parrot is this?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Randomize
