Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
