i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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