I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
