I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
