MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
