sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
