Ketchup is God's man juice
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
Randomize
