I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
