So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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