shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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