my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
