he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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