This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
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