i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
