cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
