Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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