Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
