i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
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