I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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