She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
