Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
