Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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