I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
