Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
