She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
