grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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