her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
