the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
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