I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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