So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
