I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
