Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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