We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
