your room smells of hookers.
And success
babies were throwing up all over the place
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
