I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
