erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
