Thanks for jumping on that grenade for me last night. You're the best wingman ever
She ate 7 of the 8 slices of pizza. I deserve a purple heart and sex w your sister
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
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