its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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