I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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