you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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