my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
