Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
