The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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