Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
where are you?
Hypothermia
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Randomize
