I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
