btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
