I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Randomize
