I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
