he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
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