what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
