Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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