I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
if only i could text you this smell
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
