The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
