That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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